Shane Parrish

Shane Parrish quotes on self reflection

Founder Farnam Street. Reader & writer. Student & teacher. Leader and follower.

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1

Things you control: Your effort. Your beliefs. Your identity. Your actions. Your attitude. Your integrity. Your thoughts. The food you eat. How kind you are. The media you read. How reflective you are. How thoughtful you are. The people you listen to. The type of friend you are.

2

What kills your dreams isn't a lack of competence, but rather confidence. Confidence comes from how you talk to yourself.

3

The most important things in life are measured internally. You have an inner scoreboard. Playing to someone else’s scoreboard is easy. But when you look up at the end after winning, you’ll feel empty as you discover you won the wrong game. You get one life. Play your own game.

4

It’s not who you think you are or who you want to be. You are what you do consistently.

5

Your only competition is who you could be.

6

It's better to start something and risk looking like an idiot than sit there and accomplish nothing.

7

Insight doesn’t come from success or failure but rather from reflection.

8

The best teacher is self-reflection.

9

Growth should be measured in comparison to your former self, not others.

10

You are whatever you tell yourself you are.

11

The biggest mistake we make with negative emotions is trying not to feel them. Awareness deepens positive emotions and allows negative ones to dissipate. Trying to avoid your feelings causes suffering.

12

Trust allows relationships to compound. When you don't have to re-evaluate people or worry about protecting yourself all the time, you go both further and faster with less anxiety and stress.

13

One of the most underrated skills in life is recognizing that you've made a mistake. You can't learn from what you don't see. While everyone makes mistakes, only a few can see them. Rather than passively waiting for others to point out your mistakes, actively search for them.

14

The actual way you learn: Experience, & Reflection, & Abstraction, & Action. This is the learning loop.

15

You are your actions, not what you say you’ll do.

16

The reason for your anger is always inside of you.

17

Ultimately you have to think for yourself.

18

Complexity is a hidden tax on your energy.

19

Consistently successful people have the ability to separate what matters from what doesn't and see what everyone else is overlooking. This skill is earned by doing the thinking, not buying the thinking.

20

Your experiences are infinatiely small in the context of what's happened in the world and yet they shape everything about how you think about the world. A meta cogntitive bias comes from an inability to see outside of ourselves.

21

If you want clarity on what matters, imagine the thoughts you'll have on your last day. What matters? - How you treat people - How you love - Whether you live true to yourself - A calm mind The rest is noise.

22

It’s easier to believe that something else is holding us back from what we want than to face the reality that we hold ourselves back.

23

Reminding yourself that you will die one day is useless if it doesn’t change how you live.

24

Getting over yourself offers exponential returns.

25

When making an agreement or decision think down and out. Down into your body. What does your head say? What about your heart? Out into the future — Fast forward 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years. How do you feel about it ? What would cause it not to work? Etc. Now decide.

26

The best reading habit is the one you enjoy every day. The best diet is the one you identify with and find tasty. The best job is the one where you love the grind.

27

Vacations are an expensive way to schedule time to pause and reflect.

28

"It's not your fault, but it's your responsibility to do something about it" is increasingly how I respond to people complaining. This phrase acknowledges what happened, removes blame, and moves people away from a passive narrative where they're a victim and into an active one.

29

(Strange, isn’t it, that) Often the problem turns out to be you.

30

Stop caring what other people think and focus on being the best version of yourself possible.

31

Don't ask people what matters to them, watch how they live.

32

We don’t tell ourselves the truth because it’s easier to protect our view of ourselves and the world than it is to change our minds.

33

The Learning Loop To better understand learning, let's break it into four components. 1. Experience 2. Reflection 3. Abstraction/Lesson 4. Action This process creates a feedback loop so that you are continuously adapting and learning from your (or others) experiences.

34

You choose who you are with your actions each day.

35

What we choose to do is a reflection on how we see ourselves.

36

If you know very little then incremental knowledge makes you dangerous. If you know something already a little incremental knowledge makes you slightly wiser. There is an interesting asymmetry at play here.

37

We're taught that if people are mad at us it's because we did something wrong. This teaches us to ignore how WE feel. Ignoring our feelings leads to over-thinking, anxiety, and stress. Just because someone is mad at you doesn't make you a bad person.

38

Trading parts of yourself for the admiration of the collective is a terrible idea. At first, it's not noticeable but as time goes on you look in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back at you.

39

You are not your failures. You are not your successes. You need to separate yourself from outcomes.

40

We’re all self conscious but we’re not all self aware.

41

Surprises help calibrate. When you're surprised it means your expectations were wrong.

42

We trick ourselves more than others.

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