Shane Parrish

Shane Parrish quotes on personal identity

Founder Farnam Street. Reader & writer. Student & teacher. Leader and follower.

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Things you control: Your effort. Your beliefs. Your identity. Your actions. Your attitude. Your integrity. Your thoughts. The food you eat. How kind you are. The media you read. How reflective you are. How thoughtful you are. The people you listen to. The type of friend you are.


If you want to understand someone, figure out the narrative they tell themselves about themself. If you want to change your behaviour, change your narrative. If you want to change someone else’s behaviour, offer them a more compelling narrative they can tell themselves.


Every choice you make is a step toward or away from the person you want to become. No single choice will get you where you want to go. Only repeated steps over time in the same direction will move you forward.


What kills your dreams isn't a lack of competence, but rather confidence. Confidence comes from how you talk to yourself.


It’s not who you think you are or who you want to be. You are what you do consistently.


You are your actions, not your words. If you really wanted to do that amazing/hard thing you tell everyone you're going to do, you'd be doing, not talking. Jump in the trenches and start doing what you talk about or stop lying to yourself.


Who you become is up to you. Just because you were a version of yourself yesterday does not mean you have to remain the same person today.


Just because you failed doesn’t mean you can’t succeed. We all fail. Mentally resilient people realize that its not failure that defines your identity but how you respond.


When it comes to regrets, it’s the dreams we didn’t go after that haunt us — the business we didn’t start, the book we didn’t write, the love we let slip away. When pursuing your dreams you won’t remember the bruises and failures, only the person you become.


You are whatever you tell yourself you are.


Your identity needs to come from who you are, not what you do. Titles can be taken from you, but who you are can’t.


When someone responds to your questions with anger and frustration, it's unlikely they're a genius. More than likely, they don't know what they are doing and are frustrated with you because deep down you're exposing them to the lies they tell themselves.


You are your actions, not what you say you’ll do.


If you want to know who are you, look at who you let close to you.


You have to sell yourself before you can sell your ideas.


A Map is not the territory. You are not your title. An online dating profile is not the person. Metrics are not the goal.


“We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.” Listening carefully to someone reveals not only how they see the situation and what they consider important but also how they see themselves.


Outcomes are lagging byproduct of your personal operating system and its associated algorithms. Heath is lagging measure of your eating algorithms. Knowledge is a lagging measure of your learning algorithms. You are your algorithms. Change the algorithm, change yourself.


You choose who you are with your actions each day.


Let the hindsight of your future self, become the foresight of your present self.


What we choose to do is a reflection on how we see ourselves.


Money doesn’t reveal who people are but rather accelerates and amplifies.


You are not your failures. You are not your successes. You need to separate yourself from outcomes.


Perspective changes the story we are telling ourselves.


Be wary of those who gain a reputation of genius from calm seas.


Airports reveal who people are.


People who lie to enemies lie to friends.

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