Shane Parrish

Shane Parrish quotes on helping others

Founder Farnam Street. Reader & writer. Student & teacher. Leader and follower.

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If you want to understand someone, figure out the narrative they tell themselves about themself. If you want to change your behaviour, change your narrative. If you want to change someone else’s behaviour, offer them a more compelling narrative they can tell themselves.


So simple, yet so underrated: Make others look good in front of the people they care about most.


People who strive for excellence want to be developed not managed. The more comfortable someone is with being managed, the lower the potential. The more comfortable someone is managing others, the less likely they are to develop them.


Be impatient with progress but patient with people.


You don’t have to solve problems for others. You can let them be uncomfortable.


Become what you want to see in the world and it will be so. If you want an amazing relationship with your partner, be an amazing partner. If you want people to be thoughtful and kind, be thoughtful and kind. Small changes in your actions change your entire world.


We spend far more time trying to control people than understand them.


Look for opportunities to elevate others ... Show them you care. Make them look good. Support them unconditionally. Catch them when they stumble. Remind them of what they do well. Help them accomplish their dreams. Be there when they need you and when they don’t.


Treat people the way you would want them to treat you if the situation was reversed. Not only does this prevent you from turning gold into lead, but often offers the path for turning lead into gold.


I think part of the reason we’re quick to try and “solve” other people’s emotions is because we’re scared of feeling our own emotions. We do anything to avoid feeling — we analyze, problem solve, distract, and avoid.


Three things rarely found together that produce outstanding results: intelligence, patience, and compassion.


You need to be able to show all aspects of yourself in order to give others the comfort to be themselves.

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