Sahil Lavingia

Sahil Lavingia quotes on relationships

Founder Gumroad, funder @

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Stop networking, start making friends.


The fastest way to become exceptional is to work with exceptional people. If you want to be a great engineer, work at a company with great engineers. Want to start a company? Work for an early-stage startup with extraordinary founders. Watch them work, and learn by osmosis.


Don’t sell, educate. Don’t network, make friends. Don’t try to grow your audience, create value for your existing audience.


Making people feel good while you disagree with them is a superpower.


Give more than you take, and you’ll get more than you give.


Hating someone does more damage to yourself than them.


How to be a better engineer: work with great engineers. How to be a better founder: spend time with great founders. How to be happier: surround yourself with happy people.


The farther away a problem is, the easier it looks to solve. The closer you get, the more respect you'll have for the people working on it. But the only way to fully empathize is to work on the problem yourself.


How to be happy: find a few people you really care about and make them really happy.


The easiest way to make someone like you is to tell them their job is hard.


Cold email is not a numbers game. Raising money is not a numbers game. Recruiting is not a numbers game. Dating is not a numbers game. Make yourself more compelling. Don’t blame the numbers.


How to surround yourself with smart, hard-working people: be smart and hard-working.


Reach out. You never know.


It took me a long time to realize: It's okay not to be best friends with your coworkers. A culture that penalizes someone if they only show up, get their work done, and leave, is a subpar culture.


If you're jealous of someone else's life trajectory, go talk to them about it. You won't be for very long.


You have to like yourself and other people in order to succeed.


If you’re going to spend time disagreeing, disagree with smart people you respect about topics you really care about.


Coworking is a great way to surround yourself with people who don't want to work that hard.


Friendship = vulnerability × time.


Number one tip for new leaders, managers, and CEOs: spend a few minutes every day complimenting the people around you on their awesome work. Easy to forget, and your words mean more than you think.


Number one negotiation tip I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet: get someone else to negotiate for you! It’s very difficult to negotiate for yourself; it’s much easier to negotiate on behalf of someone else.


A one-dimensional identity puts all of your happiness in one basket. Fill your life with friends, family, lore, love, books, hobbies, exercise, art... Diversify your identity and you'll always have something to be happy about!


I think I’ve changed more minds since I stopped trying to.


You can learn more about someone from what they read than what they tweet.


Everyone you meet is going to die. Be nice.


How to meet your favorite writers: become one of their favorite writers. How to meet your favorite founders: become one of their favorite founders. How to meet the people who inspire you: inspire them.


If you want to think more like someone: Read their favorite books. Read the same articles. Listen to the same podcasts. Follow the people they follow.


People who ask for an explanation for your actions will like your explanation less than your actions.


Treat everyone like an equal, and treat yourself very well.


Your startup can offer more than just software: - Community - Hope - Charity - Motivation - Advice from mistakes you've made - Interactions that make people feel good!


Be open with people and people will be open with you.


Assuming the worst of someone can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Same goes for assuming the best.


I like people who try to be likable.


Surround yourself with people who are successful. One way to do that is to help the people around you succeed.

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